The feels

So it’s no secret that I am a super sensitive person.

I internalize a lot and then I have to find a way to get it out. All the feels I have are just too much for this little heart (which is why I write and paint and run). But one of the major ways I get rid of things is by crying. Sometimes it happens while I’m running or right after a massage. Recently, Josh has been dry needling my neck and upper shoulders and it makes me cry. Not from pain, but from some weird emotional release I have. And not like shedding a tear or two. No, I’m talking full on, uncontrollable, ugly sobbing…

I have struggled with this sensitivity for a long time. Others have called me angsty, emotional, overanalyzer, and vain, among other things. I just seem to feel things much more than other people which freaks them out. So I make a great effort to hide this part of myself. Because who wants to be that girl?

But the older I get, the more I think this may be just exactly who I was created to be.

” As a kid, Jimmy didn’t fit in with the other boys in his neighborhood. He didn’t take to sports but preferred staying inside and playing by himself in his room. What’s more, his parents noticed he was playing with his socks. Hmmm. That’s just weird. Fortunately for Jimmy, his mom and dad didn’t force him to fit into extracurricular activities he didn’t like. Instead, they bought him more socks, noticing he was most creative when he imagined them to be characters. I’m so glad they did, because their son, Jim Henson, actually made a career out of those socks. He called them Muppets.” Tim Elmore, The Key Role of Intuition in Students’ Decisions

Maybe instead of suppressing it and trying to be more like other people, I should just let myself be me and see what happens…