Trials of many kinds

This whole entrepreneurship thing is no joke. It is HARD. Like last mile of the marathon when your entire body is screaming no and  you’re mind is rationalizing it’s way out of going one more step HARD.

The other day I was driving in my car crying again, because it’s just all too much and the worry has to go somewhere, and frustration overwhelmed me. In weak moments like these, I’ve been asking God to make this stop. If we could just fast forward to the easy part that would be great, thanks.

Right then a thought came to my mind. Put there by Him no doubt. Just a quiet reminder to me in my moment of anger.

Dry Needling.

It’s a technique Josh uses on me to help with neck and upper shoulder pain. (That I get from all the anxiety by the way, but at least I know I have a problem). I wrote about needling once before.

The thing about dry needling for me is it freakin’ hurts. Every single needle stings and my muscles are so wound up that it’s torturous when the needle gets in there and forces them to relax back down. My instinct is to fight it. I want to tense up and brace for it. Sometimes I literally sweat and get in full on fight or flight mode. Josh doesn’t even realize how close he’s come to getting a good punch in the face. But since I looked like frankenstein with needles sticking out of my neck he got lucky and missed out.

It took a few failed sessions, for me to realize that the fight makes it worse. It doesn’t help my pain, and it doesn’t release any tension. I have to ALLOW the needles to do their JOB. Which is to hurt me. In a brief moment I feel immense pain. But the reward of living every other day with the freedom to turn my head in all directions is worth it.

I’m working on the “pure joy” part but I can at least realize that this pain is temporary. And it is serving a purpose. I’m somewhere after mile 20 wondering why in the world I signed up for this but I’m still going.

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