I have not been myself lately. People tell me I’ll go back to normal eventually after my hormones settle down. But I feel like women don’t actually have a “normal”. Our entire lives are a screwed up roller coaster of hormonal ups and downs.
But anyway, I woke up feeling off again. Couldn’t get myself out of bed. Skipped another workout. Moped around the house for an hour before deciding I just needed to get out of there. I grabbed Elora and we went down the street to Starbucks because where else do you hang out at 9am?
One thing I MISS is reading. When Josh and I lived in St. Louis I would walk down to the Starbucks and read for hours. Uninterrupted. Without a child trying to eat the book. And it was glorious.
Elora absolutely hates the car seat so I had her on my lap. I had this picture in my mind that she would sit there and just play with a toy and I could read a book.
Nope. She was annoying the crap out of me. Ripping my book, covering it with her body, slapping at my face. Suffice it to say, reading just wasn’t happening.
Just as I was about to give up and leave, a sweet lady came over to us. She told me how absolutely precious we were. She asked me for my phone because she wanted to capture the sweet moment for me.
It reminded me of this video that a friend of mine shared on Facebook a few days ago. It’s called “A Normal Day” and totally worth the minute and a half to watch.
My little girl just loves me and she loves being near me. That won’t always be the case. Ever since I watched that video I have been trying to think of my days through Elora’s eyes. What would her story to Josh be at the end of the day? I don’t want her to see me as a tired, worn down, irritable momma. There will be plenty of time for reading later on in life. And when that time comes, I’ll probably be doing it to distract myself from the fact that my children don’t need me anymore.