Pregnancy is just another way that life is teaching me to keep calm and realize I’m not the one in control. No matter how much I told myself I wouldn’t spend the last weeks agonizing over when this baby would come, I can’t stop agonizing over when this baby will come.
Our official due date is September 24th but we all know that babies do what they want. Which makes planning a little difficult.
Between work, school, and our gym, I’ve got a lot of things going on and it’s hard for me to just be ok not knowing when baby girl is going to make her arrival. So far, I’ve been focusing on not going down the worry road. When I feel overwhelmed, I stop, take a deep breath, and tell God that whatever He has planned is fine with me.
But when I started having regular contractions this past Saturday I freaked. A month early is just a little too soon.
Labor class 101…I was probably just moving around too much or too hot. So I sat down in a chair and drank a bunch of water. The app on my phone was timing the contractions at about a minute each and only 3 minutes apart, which is kind of serious. After a little bit of this, the app told us it was time to have a baby and we should make our way to the hospital.
And I was like
But I kept timing, because it was just too early. Surely this would go away. I was probably overreacting. But two hours later, contractions were not slowing and the app got a little more forceful
So we called the on-call doctor, who just happened to be my doctor, and checked in at the hospital. One of the longest, most annoying days of my life ensued. Long story short, we finally got the contractions stopped and I went home that night. I’m on activity restrictions until I hit 37 weeks this weekend. After that, I have the choice to keep patiently waiting or push things along. But then my doctor is going to Haiti for a week.
So now that relaxed, ‘oh it will happen when it happens’ feeling is gone. Saturday was a total surprise and I’m a little sad that we had to stop the labor. Though, I’m grateful that Elora will stay and grow a little longer. My heart is so ready to hold this sweet baby, but my mind keeps worrying about the logistics of her arrival. What if my water breaks in the middle of class this weekend? What if she comes while my doctor is away? What if now she doesn’t come until the end of September?
It feels like when you’re waiting on news to come. Your mind is consumed with all the possible scenarios, good and bad. You over-analyze every little thing as a potential sign.
But it’s a waste of time. This baby is coming. It’s not like there’s a chance I won’t go into labor, it’s going to happen. I don’t know when, where, or how, but I do know that it will all be ok. So rather than spend these days fretting and pacing, I am trying to relax, spend time with Josh, and sleep as much as I can. Because worrying won’t make it happen any faster…or slower…