Social graces

As ya’ll know, I’m kind of an introvert…

Oh-really-gif_1Okay, I’m a full-on, sometimes socially awkward, introvert. But I like to think I hide it well.

And every once in a while, things come up that I have no idea how to handle in a socially graceful way. Like how the drive-through barista at Starbucks has been calling me by my sister’s name for over a month now.


Most people like it when a stranger at a business calls you by your name. It’s a sign of good customer service. So the teller at the drive through bank says “Have a nice day, Lindsay!” or the sales attendant in Lululemon calls out “How’s it going in there, Lindsay?”


But I don’t like that. I really just like to remain invisible as much as possible.

So the introvert in me really doesn’t want to handle this situation. This barista only works drive through and they don’t ask your name on drive through like they do inside.  How am I supposed to let this person know that she is calling me by the wrong name??

deal with that

It’s been bothering me for a while. Maybe I should go to the other location (not a good option). Maybe I should just let it go and keep pretending my name is Katy. Maybe I could have a friend come with me one day and loudly refer to me as Lindsay in front of this girl. Or better yet, actually bring Katy. Maybe I’ll add the barista as a friend on facebook.

All of these ideas suck.

I am just afraid of what this girl will think of me if I confront this. (There’s that fear again…)
But a counselor taught me a very useful exercise when I found myself in situations like this. She told me to think about it from the other person’s point of view.


When I am worrying endlessly like ohmigod what did they think when I _______, I just stop and try to think about it from the other person’s point of view. And most of the time, I decide that what I am worrying about is no big deal. Probably the other person isn’t putting half as much thought in to it as I am.

So if I had been calling someone the wrong name for weeks, I would definitely want them to speak up. And I wouldn’t think they were rude, dumb, a social outcast, etc. I would be the embarrassed one for calling someone the complete wrong name! So I think I will be vulnerable (like Brene Brown tells us to) and let this girl know that my name is Lindsay, not Katy. And be totally gracious and understanding in an attempt to prevent humiliating her. And then move on and quit wasting time and effort worrying about such a minuscule problem.

Albert Einstein

One comment

  1. Hey! I’m just creepin’ on your blog bc it’s been awhile since I read it 😉 I LOVE Brene Brown!!! My supervisor for my LPC has been having me read her books and watch her TED Talk. SO GOOD!! Anyway, love your blog, Katy… I mean Lindsay 😉 Sorry, couldn’t resist… lol!

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