I have been on a desperate mission to stop caring what the scale says about me. All the sickness of the last year has put running on a back burner so I’ve been focusing on bettering myself as a person. A major part of this is overcoming FEAR. I’ve written about it a lot here, mostly just stating it’s a problem but never really setting forth a plan for solving it.

But I got tired of that. So I got serious about CrossFit.

female lift(this is not me or anything even remotely close to me…yet)

Here’s the deal. CrossFit is hard…and sometimes really scary. But if I can do something hard and scary first thing in the morning, then it sets a really positive tone for the rest of my day.

But you know what’s really hard? I mean, sure, throwing weight over your head is pretty tough. But that’s nothing compared to the absolute most worst part…

the weight gain

Yup…that’s right. A lot people gain weight when they first start CrossFit. And a lot of people are ok with that because that was their goal.

But it’s been a pretty big struggle for me. I have always tried to use my clothing as a gauge more than the scale. If my clothes were a little snug, I’d have one less margarita that weekend.

But this…this is awful! I’ve had to go up 2 sizes in pants because of my massive ass and thighs. Getting dressed has been a total nightmare.


It’s totally messing with my mind!

My instinct is to quit. To run the weight off. To go back to what’s familiar.

But I’m not going to do it. Because that’s not what I’m about anymore.



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