Choosing

Josh and I haven’t exactly been seeing eye to eye lately…And it’s basically all my fault. I’ve just been struggling with what my new balance looks like. I’ve only ever been “Lindsay who obsesses over calories in vs calories out”. So trying to transform to “Lindsay who is healthy and happy” is causing some disruption.

Josh follows Crossfit. Since he gets to use the gym at his work for free he isn’t a member of a box. But he follows the WODs from a box that he likes. He was getting started with that about the same time I was training for the marathon. So even though we were in different worlds, it was still kinda the same world. We were both obsessed with getting better, faster, stronger.

But lately when I think about running another half or full I’m just like

i dont want to

I have so loved being back home where I get to play with my nephews whenever I want, see my mom often, and spend hours on a weekend relaxing instead of working out. It makes me happy. But being fit and healthy makes me happy too. I’m just trying to find that balance.

So last night Josh and I were having this discussion. I was trying to explain to him how I feel. I haven’t given up on running or living a healthy lifestyle. I just don’t want to talk about it ALL the time. Josh is still pretty committed to his personal fitness goals. He exercises every single day. He watches videos on how to perfect his form. He’s been watching the crossfit games. And that is totally cool. I am in no way bashing that. I’m just sayin’…for me, at this stage in my life, I don’t want to spend hours at the gym every week. I love our house and my family and I just want to be there, soaking up the moments. Not in a steamy rpm class with the instructor yelling at me to “go harder”.

um no

Nothing was really resolved from the conversation. I said my side, and Josh said his side. Which was that I could still be a happy, healthy person and enjoy being competitive in fitness. We did what any mature couple does…agree to disagree and turn on Scrubs.

So this morning I am scrolling my facebook feed and the first photo I come across is from the Women of Crossfit=Strong page:

always beautiful

 

Remember when I was talking about those little signs we’re given? Message received. I think I’ll try a local 5k this Saturday and see what happens.

“If a warrior is to succeed at anything, the success must come gently, with a great deal of effort but with no stress or obsession.” – Carlos Castaneda

 

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