Just wait

So I’d just like to follow up on my last post with a little story…

Back in fall 2008 I was beginning to plan a wedding. I already knew I wanted it to be on October 10, 2009. Josh and I started dating on October 10 so that was already our anniversary and I wanted to keep it that way. And in 2009 that date was on a Saturday. So he’d known for a while that he better be ready to marry me by then.

So in January 2009 when he still hadn’t proposed, I started getting a little nervous. I mean, we were talking about it and everything, he just hadn’t actually done it. But in the meantime, I was planning a little trip.

Josh loves me soooo much he agreed to drive 8 hours to Norman, Oklahoma to see Jewel at the Riverwind Casino on January 30, 2009. Remember when I hinted to this on our 10 year anniversary? Now you’ll get to hear the full story!

oklahomaOn the way to Oklahoma! Look at us! We’re practically BABIES!

So anyway, I was beside myself about this concert. It was a dream come true for me! And I just thought it would be so cool if Josh had it worked out to propose to me at this concert. I thought, maybe, just maybe, that’s why he had been waiting. Maybe he somehow got in contact with the concert production crew and was going to propose on stage or on the big screen. I just dreamed all the time about how awesome this was going to be. I bought a dress and shoes to wear. I fixed my hair down (which is pretty unheard of for me). I was going all out.

Well, we show up to the Casino and since this was my first time in one, I didn’t get the sweatpants memo. Yeah…I stood out big time in my black cocktail dress and heels. But we continued to the concert hall anyway, and nothing was going to distract me from my big night. I watched the entire concert in anticipation of “the moment”.

But it never came. Josh did not propose to me at that concert. Or even while we were in Oklahoma.

And I would be lying if I told you I wasn’t disappointed. It’s kind of embarrassing to tell about now, but I was really hoping Josh was going to pull off some grand scheme. But he didn’t, so we drove the 8 hours back home. And I do not remember why we drove through my hometown to stop at my parent’s house but we did which put us on the road back to our town pretty late that evening.

So I am aggravated. I was tired of the car, we still had an hour and a half to go and I just wanted to be home. What I am trying to tell you is that I was not being all that…um…friendly…to put it nicely.

But, a few minutes outside town, Josh asks if I want to listen to a cd he made. And in my head I’m like UM NO! Like I’ve told ya’ll before, our tastes in music differ somewhat…

music-worried-traffic-commute-confession-ecard-someecards

But I hold back rude comments and just smile and say sure. The first song comes on and it’s one of my favorites. Then the next song comes on and it’s another one of my favorites. All the songs were my favorites!

But then Josh starts telling me that my car is steering weird. (Sidenote: Even though my car was less than a year old at this point, I HAD taken a bump a little too fast earlier that day so I actually was worried that I messed something up) But like I said before, I just wanted to be home and I did NOT want to be worrying about any pesky steering issues. So I am just like “It’s fine! Quit worrying about it!”

But Josh persisted and ends up pulling over to the side of the road to “check it out”, much to my less than subtle irritation. I am waiting in the car when the song ends and the next track surprised me because it’s Josh’s voice talking to me. He tells me how lucky he is to have me and how glad he is that I decided to offer him a ride home on the side of the road all those years ago.

So I jump out of the car to find him on his knee proposing to me!

It was the absolute PERFECT proposal for us! He had gone through so much thought and effort to put that together. I was so pleasantly surprised and incredibly impressed with him!

And I have never wished that he would have proposed to me at the Jewel concert. What he put together was so much more meaningful and was such a sweet tribute to the way we first met. I would never change it.

So I tell you all this to say that so often in life we try to plan things or we think we know what is best. But if we just let God take care of us, His plans are even greater than anything we could have imagined.

This very comforting analogy came to me after I wrote my last post. I had just received another No and wasn’t feeling too good. But this memory popped in my head and gave me such immense comfort. Because I am not just telling myself it will all work out because it’s the generic statement to make in my situation. I can say that with confidence because I have seen this happen in my life before. I have experienced the miracle and I have faith that something good is in store for me.

disappoint

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