Honeymoon’s over

I just love Chris Powell! He seems like such a sweet caring man and I believe that’s why he is so successful with his clients. I love watching him on Extreme Weight Loss and I’ve been super excited that there’s finally been new episodes in my Tivo every week.

This show is such a motivation to so many people that you can do anything you set your mind to. The body achieves what the mind believes right? That’s always been my motto.

Until it wasn’t.

When I was first started trying to get healthy,  it was so hard to say no. That’s why it took me 3 years to lose all the weight. But once I figured out how much better I felt when I made healthy  choices it got easier. Then when I looked at before/after pictures, it was really easy to say no to all my trigger foods. Once I hit my goal, I was terrified to gain anything back. I knew exactly how many minutes of cardio it would take to burn off that extra slice of pizza or giant frozen margarita and my answer was (usually) no thank you!

But I have maintained my weight loss for a year now. And here’s how it happens. You skip a workout here, enjoy a night out there…and nothing bad happens. Your nightmares about gaining 20 pounds or losing your stamina in your workouts don’t come true. So the next week you let stuff slide a bit more and so on and so forth.

Lately, all I want is this

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and candy. I don’t even like sweets that much! I mean, these cravings are bad…like went to the doctor to have a pregnancy test because I thought something was definitely up. (It was negative by the way)

I’m sure all the stress and feelings of inadequacy (when I was out of work) are the cause of this major set back in my food addiction process. I mean, almost a year ago I was talking about how I was craving a run, not food when a stressful day hit. But somewhere in the midst of quitting my job, moving to my parents’, moving to St. Louis, moving back to my parents’, then moving back home, being out of work, starting a new job, I just got tired. I got tired of making decisions about what to eat and what workouts to do.

Poor Josh, he has been struggling with me because I have been such a bad influence on him. He is so much stronger than me though.

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The truth is, in this society, maintaining a healthy body and mind is hard work. And not unlike marriage, there is a honeymoon phase. At first, it’s exciting because your body is new and you’re still getting compliments and buying new clothes. I see it in every weight loss show I watch. People who have lost a lot of weight are unstoppable! But then the compliments go away, the workouts get boring, you get tired of shopping, and the “new” body is just the same body you’ve had for a year now.

Then what do you do? I don’t know for sure.

But here’s what I do know. When I think back to my life 3 years ago and I read diary entries from that time period, I do not like what I see. I was incredibly unhappy and out of control of my life. And changing my lifestyle changed me….physically, mentally, and emotionally. And yes, it sucks to say no to velveeta and dessert. But it sucks a whole lot more to be depressed and unhappy all the time.

good now bad later

So I will keep doing what I know I need to do. I will keep waking up every day with the best intentions. Sometimes I’ll make good choices, and sometimes I won’t. But I just thank God every single day that I get to wake up to an incredible man who loves me no matter what and that we have an amazing supportive family. Because that’s way more important than whether I had that extra slice of pizza or ran than extra mile.

“I don’t want my life to be defined by what is etched on a tombstone. I want it to be defined in what is etched in the lives and hearts of those I’ve touched.” -Steve Maraboli

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