If my life is a roller coaster, our time in St. Louis was the slow ride to the top of the first hill. Every agonizing click passing so slowly you’re quite sure your just gonna puke. And the second we parked the car in the driveway in Texas we hit the terrifying ride down. Barreling toward who knows what, we are still sliding down. Just waiting for the next hill when things will slow down. I need to catch my breath from screaming at the top of my lungs from the roller coaster I didn’t even realize I was on until it was too late.
But all the things that have been keeping me busy are wonderful things. For one my sweet little nephews! If you’ve followed me at all you know I freakin love those cuties! I spend every second I can with them. If I am not substitute teaching or working my new Mary Kay business (I know, I never got a chance to post about that…maybe one day) I am with those little boys.
But this has not left much “me” time. I am weeks behind on the shows I watch. I am lucky to grab a quick 3 miles (6 was my average before I got home). Which can leave me feeling a bit…irritable, I’ll say.
And amidst all this, I feel “off” somehow. I am not sick, not blatantly, but I feel…different. More tired. Sleepless, nauseous, and off balance. When I do get to workout, my muscles are jello and my lungs scream. (Hold your horses…I’ve had 4 pregnancy tests, one was from the doctor and all are negative so it’s not that) Nonetheless, it is not right. I am not right. I think it is stress. But it is a vicious cycle because the more stressed I get, the more my body reacts. And the more my body reacts, the more stressed I am.
We will move in to our new house next week! But my job right now is in my hometown so that is where I will stay for a few more weeks. Substitute teaching is good for story telling but I am really hoping to hear back from a few jobs soon. I am ready for things to settle down a little bit.
I have been LOVING the training and inspiration that Mary Kay provides me and sometimes it’s as though they are speaking right to me! One such moment was last night when the speaker said “Broke is a temporary condition. Being poor is a state of mind”