I have always tried to keep this blog a place of positivity and hopefulness. I have always believed that good things happen to those who work and most of my posts revolve around this underlying theme. But I’m just not there right now. I haven’t posted all week because I just didn’t want to put these negative thoughts out in the universe to poor unsuspecting blog readers.
But the truth is, I’m not always positive. I don’t always believe that I can do anything I set my mind to. Sometimes I lose faith. Sometimes I wake up with puffy dark eyes because I cried for hours the day before. Which only spirals me into a deeper state of self loathing because I look so hideous. Sometimes “Everything happens for a reason” is just not a good enough answer anymore. Sometimes “Things will all work out” makes me want to punch the person telling me so in the teeth.
I get very frustrated when I can’t seem to control what’s happening in my life. When I tie on my running shoes and step out on the road, I control it from there. If I have a bad run, there is no one to blame but myself. So I just decide to do better next time.
But life isn’t so easy. Money, children, opportunities (both taken and missed) are all very complicated. And it’s very difficult for a go-getter such as myself to stand by waiting for “everything to work out”.
“There are no hopeless situations. Only people who have grown hopeless about them.” -Clare Booth Luce