I’m a monster

I revealed something to Josh the other night. Something I have been trying to keep a secret (unsuccessfully). I guess he wasn’t surprised by what I said, just that I finally said it.

I don’t like our dogs.

That’s it. I just don’t enjoy having dogs follow me around everywhere and leave their hair on everything I own.

And the reason all of this came out was because Boon decided to feast on acorns which have blocked his little belly. So he’s puking everywhere.

On Sunday when this all happened, I was concerned but this isn’t the first time this has happened. So I wasn’t fawning over him or anything. But Josh was really worried and it was annoying me for some reason. So we got in an argument where he proceeded to tell me, in so many words, that I am a monster.

And I couldn’t argue with him.

I mean, what kind of person could be annoyed by this??

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All this got me thinking…and I realized that this is just another example of something a counselor brought to my attention 3 years ago. I like the “idea” of things. I am a perfectionist. I only like things in their perfect form. So of course I like the idea of having cute dogs. But when it comes to their hair, annoying yapping, and puking all over everything, I’m over it.

And it is the same with many other things in my life. I try really hard to realize that perfection doesn’t exist but for some reason I keep on getting disappointed when perfection doesn’t exist. And in some ways, I like this because I believe it is what makes me successful in life. However, I also realize it can make me really annoying to be around at times.

And I know I can overcome this, I mean, seriously…I’ve been with Josh for 10 years and I’m not “over it” yet so there is a graceful heart in there. I just have to work at it sometimes because my perfectionistic side wants to take over.

P.S. to all you crazy dog lovers out there…no animals are harmed in my presence!

“When you aim for perfection, you discover it’s a moving target.”- Geoffrey F. Fisher

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