Just a few more hours. I haven’t been this nervous since the day of my wedding. I honestly don’t know why. Well, I mean I do, I just don’t understand. I have trained. I have done the work, I know I will do awesome.
But I guess I am just so nervous that something will go wrong. But mostly, I know how much it is going to hurt. I feel like I am getting ready to walk the plank. I am guessing the next time I feel remotely like this will be when I am about to go into labor. That will be another time, another blog.
I felt totally judged by the cashier in Jason’s Deli tonight. “Um, yes…I will have the chicken club wrapini, with a side salad, and the kid’s bowl of macaroni and cheese.” She just looked at me. I felt a faint urge to justify myself “oh I’m running a marathon”. But I just smiled and left it at that.
But back to the point…Today someone asked me how excited I was. And I responded that I was terrified. They said well are you at least 10% excited, 90% terrified? I just sat with my mouth gaped open because for a rare moment, I just couldn’t decipher my own feelings. Luckily someone interrupted and the attention was off me. But I still can’t put into percentages what I feel. It’s all so jumbled. I will attempt to sleep soon and before I drift off to crazy dreams about showing up to the marathon not wearing a bra…I decided to remind myself why I put myself through all this in the first place.
Two of my favorite marathon quotes which I have posted before but just can’t seem to get out of my mind tonight
“Marathoning is like cutting yourself unexpectedly. You dip into the pain so gradually that the damage is done before you are aware of it. Unfortunately, when awareness comes, it is excruciating.”–John Farrington, Australian marathoner
“If you want to run, then run a mile. If you want to experience another life, run a marathon.” –Emil Zatopek