Inside my mind

I have warned my husband many times that the inner workings of my mind were something he most definitely did not want to investigate. I have complained about being alone with my thoughts when I forgot my ipod at the healthclub. But the truth is, not even Kanye can drown out my thoughts. They are still there.

I did my 6 mile hill training this morning. Some days are harder than others to get into the zone and just run. Today was a hard day. I just kept getting distracted by stuff. I have tried to recount what all went through my head this morning. Times are very approximate. Keep reading if you dare…

6:30am By the car strapping on my ipod 
“ok, hopefully no one sees me hide this car key in my bra.  it’s still pretty dark. there are a lot of wild animals out here, i better not get mauled by a deer.”

6:35am Mile 0
“okay, let’s do this. Oh my! this shirt is kinda low cut, oh well who cares. maybe my boobs will provide a nice distraction for some poor dude out here torturing himself like me. Oh forgot to start the garmin, ok now here we go.”

“um, yeah i’m not starting my run with this hill. i’m walking up it today. i’ll start running at the top”

“AHH a bug in my eye! i hate bugs, they’re so stupid.”

6:48am Mile 1
“ouch! whats wrong with my foot?! ow, ow, ow ok something’s wrong, i should stop. no, it’s fine, you’re fine. it’ll work it’s way out just keep going. yeah unless it really is an injury and then i can’t run my races this weekend. oh wait, it’s gone. ”

“oh it’s back. ow ow ow, just slow down for a second, okay it’s gone.”

“this hurts. my legs feel so heavy today. maybe if i didn’t have these extra 10 pounds on my belly weighing me down. this is not going to be a good run. i feel like crap.”

6:55am Mile 2
“oh yeah, this is awesome, i feel great! I’m about to make these hills my bitch!”

“ahh what’s that? oh it’s just a dude passing me. whatever, i’m still a good runner.”

“wow that girl is really pretty. she’s running kind of prissy. why is she swinging her arms like that? is that her perfume i smell? is she snow white?”

7:05am Mile 3
“i’m hungry. did i eat enough yesterday? what should i eat today? should i make lunch and eat at my desk or just go out and get mcalisters? no i’m going to be spending a lot of money this weekend so i should pack lunch. i do love macaroni and cheese though”

“oh good, a new song…whoa…can they say that on the radio? will i let my kids listen to this music? i bet they’ll think it’s dumb. how long will it be before this song is considered an oldie?”

“i wonder how much these lake houses go for? i hope josh and i can have a lake house one day. how many weeks until vacation? i need to keep going so i can still wear my bikini to the lake.”

“my butt feels like it’s bouncing around. i should do more squats.”

7:15am Mile 4 
“hey! a bunny! he’s not running away from me…guess he’s not scared of people. i wonder what bunny poop looks like?

“UGH, why can’t this be over now. why did i decide to go this far today. i hate running”

“oh @*!% where’d that mack truck come from? driving like a bat out of hell! eww, it’s the garbage truck. i should slow down when i pass people on the road.”

7:25am Mile 5

“I really want to stop and walk right now. ok, just for a few seconds…oh wait, here comes someone on the other side of the road. you can’t stop right now, wait till you pass them.”

“oh hey, i know that guy. i didn’t know he lived out here. run faster so he thinks you’re a badass.  i wonder if he recognized me? ouch, have to slow down for a second, that sucked.”

“what was that drip on my leg? eww, that was my sweat. i’m gonna have to take an ice bath after this.”

7:33am Mile 6

“i am so glad that is over!! i feel awesome! i should post a facebook status about how freakin awesome i am. no, i don’t want to be that girl.”

“I always loved running — it was something you could do by yourself, and under your own power. You could go in any direction, fast or slow as you wanted, fighting the wind if you felt like it, seeking out new sights just on the strength of your feet and the courage of your lungs.”-Jesse Owens

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6 comments

  1. Too funny! I’m always amazed at what crazy things go through my head. I’ve been running sans music for the last several weeks, so it has gotten worse, especially when I start imagining what other runners are thinking about me. I can’t slow down now! This person will think I’m weak!

  2. I don’t run with music anymore, partly because after half an hour, sweat drips down my face and my ear buds get slippery and fall out!!! I got tired of wiping them off and then sticking them back into my ears only to repeat that process 5 min later…. with that said, I have some pretty weird thoughts and ‘day dreams’ as I run since I dont have music to distract me!

  3. Ha!! I love the monologue!! When I used to run in Philly when I was there for work I’d think about stiff arming people into the river just because haha I never did of course but it would go through my head, like man how funny, but wait if I got pushed… My iPhone and Garmin are so expensive, swimming is probably ill advised. You think about bunny poop though… I don’t feel so weird now.

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