I am getting ready to go home for another 4 days for Mother’s Day and my nephew’s birthday. I am so excited and it has really got me thinking…. My family tells me stories about when I was a young child, about how talkative and outgoing I was. How I would sing to anyone who would listen. Somewhere, something happened and I gradually became more introverted. Throughout school I never really felt like I “fit in” anywhere. I have struggled with self esteem issues since being teased in elementary school. While I don’t want to get in to any of that stuff here, I really just wanted to say what an insult to my parents self loathing is!
When I look at my sweet nephews I see miracles. I see beautiful little people who are the perfect mix of my sister and brother in law. If I feel so strongly about them and they aren’t even mine, I can only imagine the love a parent has for their own child. What must it be like to see yourself and the love of your life in another human? What must it be like when that human grows up and feels inferior?
There is nothing I can do to change the person I was in school. I can only move forward from now and I am choosing to be me…my mother’s empathy and creativity and my father’s discipline and adventure. I am my parent’s miracle and my goal is to see myself through their loving eyes.