This morning while I was putting on my makeup a song came on my Jaymay Pandora station that I have never heard before but the lyrics caught my attention:
Two birds on a wire
One tries to fly away
And the other
Watches him close
From that wire
He says he wants to as well
But he is a liar
It’s called Two Birds by Regina Spektor. These lyrics struck me because of the particular situation that Josh and I are in right now.
See what had happened was…
Earlier in the summer I applied for a position at a university in my hometown. I never heard back about it so I assumed it wasn’t meant to be and went on about my life. Until I got a phone call out of the blue from that institution. It was from a Vice President who was hiring for another position and had been forwarded my resume. He asked if I was interested and I said yes! After a really great phone interview, followed by an on campus interview, they told me that they really liked me but they chose someone else. They said email us in 2 weeks and we might have something for you. I figured they were just being nice. That was the day I wrote Not my plan.
And then something miraculous happened. They actually did want me. They actually did have a position for me. A wonderful woman contacted me about a job that she knew I’d be perfect for. And she was right.
My mind was full of worry about Josh’s contract, our lease, moving expenses, burdening my parents while we house hunt, etc. But my heart was overwhelmed with joy and belonging. I just knew. I could just feel it. I can’t really explain it but I knew this was where I needed to be.
And now Josh has gotten the job offer, the one we were hoping for. I am so excited, financially it is much better for us and they were willing to buy out his contract. But Josh loves where we were. He has friends that have become family there. He loves his job the way I love my new one. I feel so selfish and guilty. Not only about dragging Josh away but also about the friends and family we have created in our little town. But as sad as I am to leave that behind, I whole-heartedly, without a doubt believe that this move is meant to be. I am praying that Josh will love his new job just as much as his old one, if not more. I am hoping that with time, he will be just as happy and fulfilled as I am now.
He says he is proud of me and happy for me and I believe that.
He says he is excited to move and start a new life with me, but of that I am not convinced. Right now I am the bird that flew away and he is watching me from the wire. But he will come along eventually.